Science Daily: Some Things Hugs Can't Fix

Some things hugs can't fix: Parental warmth does not remove anxiety that follows punishment

Date:

March 16, 2015

Source:

Duke University

A loving mom can't overcome the anxiety and aggression caused by corporal punishment, and her otherwise warm demeanor may make it worse, according to research led by Duke University that was recently published in the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology.

"If you believe that you can shake your children or slap them across the face and then smooth things over gradually by smothering them with love, you are mistaken," wrote lead researcher Jennifer E. Lansford on the Child and Family Blog. Lansford is a research professor at the Social Science Research Institute at Duke University. "Being very warm with a child whom you hit in this manner rarely makes things better. It can make a child more, not less, anxious."

The blog is a joint project of the Future of Children at Princeton University and the Applied Developmental Psychology Research Group at the University of Cambridge.

Lansford calls it "one of many worrying findings" in the multicenter research about corporal punishment. They interviewed more than 1,000 children and their mothers, from eight different countries, asking about levels of physical punishment and also about anxiety and aggressive behavior on the part of the children.

They found that while maternal warmth can lessen the impact of "low levels of corporal punishment" among children ages 8 to 10, both anxiety and aggression still remain -- just not quite as much. It doesn't typically diminish the negative impact of high levels of physical punishment. Lansford said countries with a more authoritarian parenting style, like Kenya and Colombia, see less effect on the children than other countries.

"Generally, childhood anxiety actually gets worse when parents are very loving alongside using corporate punishment," she wrote. The researchers aren't sure why, but she said it might be "simply too confusing and unnerving for a child to be hit hard and loved warmly all in the same home."

More severe punishment leads to more severe aggression and anxiety, she said, adding that 43 countries have outlawed corporal punishment.

"It's far more effective and less risky to use nonphysical discipline," Janet Lansbury, a Los Angeles parent educator, told the Deseret News recently for a story on effective nonphysical discipline. "Discipline means 'to teach,' not 'punishment.' "

"Discipline is tricky terrain, but experts say there are effective nonphysical ways to promote wanted behaviors. Using techniques that teach proper behavior while treating both parent and child with respect frees parents from worry about how physical is too physical when it comes to discipline," the article said. It included ideas based on a child's age and the type of issue being addressed. For example, taking things away from a teenager may not be as effective as making a teenager participate in activities that benefit others and broaden the teen's experience. Putting younger children in time-out yields results.

Parenting "styles" are largely determined based on how a parent chooses to discipline. According to Psychology Today, authoritarian parents "see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority -- the parent, the church, the teacher." Authoritative parents are strict and consistent but use nonphysical discipline to get their points across, it said.

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Duke University. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Jennifer E. Lansford, Chinmayi Sharma, Patrick S. Malone, Darren Woodlief, Kenneth A. Dodge, Paul Oburu, Concetta Pastorelli, Ann T. Skinner, Emma Sorbring, Sombat Tapanya, Liliana Maria Uribe Tirado, Arnaldo Zelli, Suha M. Al-Hassan, Liane Peña Alampay, Dario Bacchini, Anna Silvia Bombi, Marc H. Bornstein, Lei Chang, Kirby Deater-Deckard, Laura Di Giunta. Corporal Punishment, Maternal Warmth, and Child Adjustment: A Longitudinal Study in Eight Countries. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 2014; 43 (4): 670 DOI: 10.1080/15374416.2014.893518

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Duke University. "Some things hugs can't fix: Parental warmth does not remove anxiety that follows punishment." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 16 March 2015. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/03/150316165949.htm>.

For Parents - Extra Curricular Activities for Your Child

Common Parent Myths About Extra Curricular Activities

Making a child practice or go to an activity will eventually help them like it. Actually it's quite the contrary, the more you force it, the more they will dislike it.  Let you child explore different activities to find what they enjoy.

I need to be on my child to get him or her to perform well.  Punishment or criticism or even harsh words meant to motivate child on will not only cause your child to dislike the activity, but could really deteriorate your relationship.  Also, if you are pushing your child each time, you will not develop a willingness to engage in hobbies.

He or she is wasting their natural gift by choosing not to participate. Though your child may show an early competency or talent, unless he or she enjoys it, it will not be maintained. 

If I let my child quit, he or she is learning to be a quitter. It is not the end of the world if your child wants to end an activity.  This predict that your child will be a quitter in later life.  If it is important to you that your child participates, remain encouraging, and flexible, without punishment.

My child needs to be busy, the more activities the better.  Built in down time is crucial for a child and parent to decompress from their busy day.  Be sure to incorporate a little veg time every day. 

Screen-Free Week is coming up very soon!

Screen-Free Week is Just 5 Weeks Away!

Taking time off from media allows us to experience closer connections with ourselves and with each other. Then we can find ways to prioritize those connections going forward. Screen-Free Week offers a powerful community of support for that process. - Mary Rothschild, Healthy Media Choices

Just 5 weeks until Screen-Free Week 2015! From May 4th to 10th, children, families, schools, libraries, and entire communities will rediscover the joys of life beyond the screen.

Want to join in the celebration? Unplug from digital entertainment and spend your free time playing, reading, daydreaming, creating, exploring, and connecting with family and friends. Visit screenfree.orgto download our free Screen-Free Week Organizer’s Kit, and to access essential SFW handouts, screen-free play ideas, and more. To connect to other Screen-Free Week organizers, “like” our SFW Facebook Page.

More than 30 organizations endorse Screen-Free Week including the American Academy of Pediatrics, Mercy Children’s Hospital, the American Public Health Association, KaBOOM!, and the Center for Child Honouring. If your school or non-profit would like to endorse SFW, email us atccfc@commercialfreechildhood.org.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month - read the 1st in the series about ACT Raising Safe Kids Program

By Michele Knox, PhD

What do you think I hear most when I meet with various students and early career psychologists? In a word – frustration. They are frustrated with the limits of traditional, office-based mental health care for kids and teens. They know that traditional mental health care is often effective, but they sense that their patients’ suffering could have been prevented.

I have heard things like, “if this child had not been abused,” or “if that child wasn’t exposed to dangerous people,” or “if those parents were better equipped with the skills they needed,” then,“this may have been prevented.” I have had countless medical students with interest in child and adolescent psychiatry lament that they feel a need to modify their patients’ contexts – the parenting they receive, the guidance and nurturing they get, the negative events they see and experience – but they simply don’t have the tools to do so.

Here’s what I tell them. The tool exists. It’s early childhood parent training.

Almost every parent can benefit from help with parenting. Parent education and support using evidence-supported methods can prevent many of the behavior problems and some of the emotional and interpersonal issues we see in our field. Some of my trainees tell me they wouldn’t be comfortable suggesting this to their patients. They worry that recommending parent training might offend them. Many pediatricians with whom I have worked seem to feel similarly – that a referral for parent program would be offensive.

It is imperative that we, as psychologists, change this perspective. Parents want, need, and frankly deserve the help that we can offer thanks to the decades of research we have done on child-rearing and parent-child relationships. Although many parents go to pediatricians or faith leaders for help with parenting, most report needing more information and support on common child-rearing issues such as discipline and how to encourage their kids to learn.

Why are psychologists uniquely prepared for this role? We are equipped with the interpersonal skills to promote a positive alliance with families and we also know how to choose and use appropriate evidence-based methods. Working closely with parents, we have the ability to limit children’s exposure to violence and improve the safety of their environments. When we are able to work with parents early, before serious problems emerge, we can be effective in preventing and reducing a myriad of negative outcomes.

Then I tell them about the ACT Raising Safe Kids Program, a parenting program developed and directed by APA’s Violence Prevention Office. In ACT, parents and primary caregivers of children (aged 0-8 years) attend nine sessions designed to:

• prevent child maltreatment,
• build parents’ positive, nonviolent parenting skills, and
• mobilize communities and families to protect children from violence.

The program uses best practices in adult learning and incorporates Motivational Interviewing throughout. Parents who complete the program find it to be non-judgmental, and they enjoy the interactive and participatory classes (Porter & Howe, 2008).

Results of several studies on the program’s outcomes, including two randomized controlled trials, also show that parents experienced benefits in many areas, including:

• anger management,
• social problem-solving,
• non-violent discipline,
• media literacy (i.e., understanding and reducing the impact of violent media on children),
• social support,
• prosocial parenting practices
• nurturing behaviors,
• reduced harsh discipline and psychological aggression toward children.

Furthermore, the children of ACT-RSK completers show significant reductions in aggressive and disruptive behavior problems, as well as bullying behaviors. Positive outcomes have been found in both English and Spanish-speaking families.

If you want to become an ACT Facilitator, you can easily get access to training. ACT Coordinators conduct trainings in several areas across the U.S. and the program continues to expand to several other nations. For more information, go to http://actagainstviolence.apa.org/training/index.html.

References:

Knox, M., Burkhart, K. & Cromley, A. (2013). Supporting positive parenting in community health centers: The ACT Raising Safe Kids Program. Journal of Community Psychology, 41(4), 395-407.

Porter, B. E., & Howe, T.R. (2008). Pilot evaluation of the ACT Parents Raising Safe Kids violence prevention program. Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma, 1, 1-14.

Portwood, S. G., Lambert, R.G., Abrams, L.P., & Nelson, E. B. (2011). An evaluation of the Adults and Children Together (ACT) Against Violence Parents Raising Safe Kids Program.Journal of Primary Prevention, 32, 147-160.

Biography:

Michele Knox, PhD, is a Professor of Psychiatry and licensed clinical psychologist at the University of Toledo College of Medicine.

Image source: Flickr user Peter Dahlgren via Creative Commons

Transgender Youth: How To Help & Support Your Child

In his Oscars acceptance speech, screenwriter, Graham Moore, encouraged adolescents to “stay weird and stay different.” As transgender youth across the nation feel confused and different, Kids In The House experts would like to echo Graham’s statement and help parents support and understand their children better. Dr. Johannah Olson, the Medical Director for the Center for Transyouth Health and Development at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, explains it’s hard to know how many children and adults are transgendered but it has shown to be as high as 1 in 100 people in some studies. Below are three tips from Kids In The House experts to help you better support transgender children both in your home and across the country.

1. Listen to your child.

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, explains that the most important thing to do is to listen to what your child is trying to tell you. If your son starts telling you he is a girl, don’t tell him he is wrong. Listen to exactly what he is saying and then seek professional help to see if what your child is saying could mean they are transgender. "If your child is transgender, then we will find ways to support your child the best they can be, as the gender they are,” says Dr. Ehrensaft. Dr. Olson also encourages every parent to love and support their children no matter what there circumstance may be.

2. Seek online resources for support.

There are many online resources which can help parents better understand transgender youth and how to help them. Dr. Olson shares that there are groups that work specifically with families with gender non-conforming children. Many of these groups have call centers where parents can talk with other individuals going through similar situations. These resources also help kids connect with other kids who have the same feelings. GLAAD and the National Center for Transgender Equality provide great resources and help for families.

3. Understand the difference between sex and gender.

Lastly, it’s important for parents to understand and differentiate between gender and sex. Educational specialist, Kevin Jennings, explains that sex is a biological fact and gender is a social construction. “The problem for transgender kids often is that their gender expression does not match what other people think it should, based on their biological sex,” he explains. “That is where they tend to run into difficulties because people tend to be very unaccepting of people whose gender expression doesn't match up with what people think it should, based on their biology.” This is also important to know because just because a child is gender non-conforming, does not mean the parent should also assume the child is homosexual. While the two are often related, it is not automatically the case.

Do you still have questions? Please visit Kids In The House to learn more about how to help your transgender child.